Numb to the loss
In the vast spectrum of human experiences, a divergence exists in how we confront and discuss the losses and grief that shape our lives. Sometimes, the pain is worn on our sleeves; a narrative willingly shared with the world. Yet, in the shadows of our existence, we often bury it deep, hoping to avoid the haunting recollections, the painful reliving, or the mere acknowledgment of it.
The resonating words of Brene Brown in her article, "Not Looking Away," ignited a visceral reaction within me, compelling an urge to scream out for those who opt to remain in silence – navigating emotions and choosing how to articulate their internal turmoil.
Photo by: Ryan Parker
Expressing your anguish is not an issue. It's merely the act of conveying what you wish to say. The true challenge lies not in the act but in the fear of how your words might be received – the apprehension of reactions that may come as attacks, manipulations, or further infliction of pain.
Unveiling your vulnerabilities is daunting; lowering your defenses is fraught with uncertainty, as the unpredictable awaits on the other side.
Yet, it's not to suggest that we shouldn't embark on this journey. How else can we truly live? However, we must acknowledge the potential consequences of baring our souls to the world. In accepting these outcomes, we cultivate courage, braving the harsh realities of a world descending into the abyss of its monstrous potential.
In moments where we summon the strength to exercise our courage, an odd numbness may descend, blurring the edges of loss, grief, and the harsh realities we'd rather keep hidden. Admittedly, there are times when numbness feels like the preferable refuge. It shields us from the searing pain that would otherwise prompt vehement curses against the inhumanity we witness, leaving us feeling helpless in the face of an unstoppable force.
Yet, there may be another way. Through writing, we can channel the raw energy that sustains us by vocalizing, expressing, and allowing the essence that keeps us alive to intervene and save us from drowning in the darkness.
However, a persistent challenge lingers – an understanding gap among those who read these words. Some may fail to grasp the depth, while others might scoff at the perceived innocence of emotions. Some may choose the path of numbness, concluding it's easier to navigate the tumultuous waters with muted senses.
